Public Speaking FAQs, build your confidence

No is the quick answer.

Most people on my course don't want to be there! So the feeling nerves will be shared by most people on the course.

My job is to make the course as safe as possible for people to come but I know public speaking is something that lots of people want to avoid so they come on my course with reluctance.

The good thing about that is that everybody is the same boat and quite often there is a sense of huge relief that "Its not just me who feels like this".

On the course I don't ask people to reveal what they do - it might come out but it doesn't have to. So I've had courses with 19 year old students working with 45 year old businessmen and maybe a 35 year old teacher (I'm guessing the ages here!). Knowing all that - it becomes my job to make the day/s as safe as possible to explore what is getting in the way, (I've been running the courses since 2000).

What happens is that the course turns quickly into a very supportive place where your main job is to support other people. A place where it doesn't matter how fearful you are at public speaking - but as long as you bring some curiosity about changing how you feel. And yes you can make huge changes about how you feel.

I often get emails like this: “I have great difficulty with public speaking. I have even gone to therapy in a bid to cure this but nothing seems to worked. I feel very anxious, tight chested and short of breath at the mere thought of doing a presentation. Could you help me in any way?"

What is happening here is a combination of fears, memories and adrenaline are overwhelming you.

However it is possible to make a huge difference in how we see public speaking. My job is to make public speaking easier for people.

I've worked with over 8500 people. We over think public speaking massively and we are under the effects of the adrenaline 'fight and flight' squeeze which doesn't make for a great mix.

We need to make public speaking simpler and that's what the course is all about. We need to re-think public speaking - to do so you need a safe place to explore what is going on and with small steps change how you see public speaking.

We are using the wrong skills when we speak. We, as speakers tend to use normal conversational skills when we are speaking to a group. When you have a conversation - you normally get nods, smiles, agreements back from the listener however when we speak to a group ALL that changes. People don't listen in the same way. They are more passive and blank faces are the norm. When we start speaking to those blank faces they don't usually smile (at least not very often) or nod their heads (some people will but again not a lot) so we are left struggling with critical thoughts about our performance, as well as dealing with adrenaline surge.

What we need are the new skills and some re-thinking to be in front of group and that is what my courses are about.

The aim of the course is to help you connect more, be more yourself and more comfortable in front of people rather than learn how put on a performance. When you become more relaxed, more present in front of an audience you can connect more with the audience and create a better experience for the audience and yourself. Public speaking then becomes more conversational and more natural.

On the course we explore and build these fundamental skills in small steps with an emphasis on making it as safe as possible.

Yes. We tend to over-think public speaking. Anxiety makes us very self-focused, and many of us also struggle with impostor syndrome and feelings of not being good enough. The course teaches skills to be more at ease with being yourself when all eyes are on you.

What's different about my course is that it's a safer place to explore and understand what's getting in the way - and you're with people who are all in the same boat as you. Everyone who comes is struggling in some way with being the centre of attention.

You can't get that combination in one-to-one work. On the course you get to re-think what audiences are while sitting IN an audience. The ground rules make it safer than normal to learn the new skills. Group numbers are small - between 6 and 10 - and each person gets one-to-one help through the course. The course is built using very small steps, which is really important - it makes learning manageable and effective. And on the second day there's the option of gentle public speaking practice, which is impossible in counselling. You also pick up new skills to be with the problematic thoughts and feelings that come up.

If previous things haven't quite worked, the missing piece is probably exposure - which is just a posh name for practice. It's hard to really shift things without it. But often the exposure people get is at work, where the setting isn't safe enough for learning. And exposure doesn't work unless you're learning new skills at the same time. That's what the course teaches.

The course has been solely focused on public speaking and being the centre of attention since 2000. I do nothing else work-wise - this is my focus and I've been studying it for years. I've had the privilege of being able to develop the course for anxious people and keep refining it as I've learnt. It's only me who teaches it.
If you're still not sure, book a free ten-minute chat with me.

We are sometimes shocked about the difference between speaking to two or three people and speaking to a large group. Our reactions don't seem to make sense. Heart-rate increase, dry mouth, sweaty palms, over-thinking along with a blank mind (there is a paradox!), going red, shaky legs. It feels like a huge over-reaction - irrational and overwhelming.

You are not alone. It's not that you are failing (although it might feel like that) - it's because we are using the wrong skills and over-thinking the situation.

We need to use the right skills when we are in front of a group rather than standard conversational skills. That's what I teach.

Yes, The Taking your place in the world course is really suitable for beginners who are scared and also people who have been terrified for a long time!

I know that people are coming who are scared and not sure they can do it. That's why they are coming. So the course has been going since 2000 has been continuously thought about to make the learnings suitable for beginners. I’m always looking for new ways to make the learning easier for people.

It’s an experiential course (learning through experience and discussion) which builds up the learning in very small steps, sometimes very baby steps!

We learn about audiences, what gets in the way currently as public speakers. So most of the course is focussed on learning these new skills and mindset changes we need to make to make public speaking simpler.

We do this by:

• Keeping the course numbers to 6-10 people so it’s a small enough course to have individual attention and big enough to feel like public speaking

• All exercises ae optional, you are not made to do anything at all on the course. You are always in control.

• Individual coaching through the course

• Pair work exercises

• Group conversations and exercises, building confidence and changing what it means to be the centre of attention

• Gentle Public speaking practice, building on what we are learning all the way through the course

• Using ground-rules to set up the learning space to be as safe as possible

• Open to any questions throughout the course

• Clear Course materials and post-course materials

• additional help through coaching can be arranged pre or post-course

Anyone - the courses are not aimed at a particular group. Here is a list that I've gathered over the years. But I only find out what people do after the course. So we don't go around finding out where people are from and what they do as part of the course.

Academics • Accountants • Actors • Actuaries • Architects • Artists • Arts People • Authors • Barristers • Best Men (lots of them) • Brides (not as many) • Carers • Carpenters • Civil Engineers • Civil Servants • Change Managers • Charity Workers • City Council Officers • Clinical Psychologists • Coaches • Comedians • Company Directors • Complementary Therapists • Consultants for the NHS (lots of them) • Counsellors • Designers • Doctors • Editors • Educational Psychologists • Engineers • Environmental Consultants • Entrepreneurs • Estate Managers • Facilitators • Factory Inspectors • Fathers of the Bride (lots) • Film People • Freelance people • Fundraisers • Furniture Makers • Gardeners • Golf Club Captains (lots) • GPs • Grooms • Head Teachers • Health Administrators • Health Visitors • Housewives • Hypnotherapists • Human Resource Managers • Investors • IT People • Job seekers • Lecturers • Managers (lots) • Managing Directors • Mathematicians • Mums returning to work • Naval Officers • Neuroscientists • Nurses • Occupational Psychologists • Opticians • Osteopaths • Painters • Personal Trainers • Pharmacists • Photographers • Physiotherapists • Pilots • Planners • Podiatrists • Police Officers • Probation Officers • Project Managers • Property People • Psychiatrists • Psychotherapists • Psychologists • Public Speaking Trainers • Registrars • Researchers • Sales Reps • Secretaries • Self-Employed • Social Workers • Software Engineers • Solicitors • Speech and Language Therapists • Statisticians • Students (lots of them) • Tax Inspectors • Teachers • Tefl teachers • Town Clerks • Trainers • Vicars • Volunteers • Wedding Photographers • Web Developers • X-ray person (otherwise known as a Radiographer!) • Young People • Zoologist

No, the course is for anybody. There is nothing in the course agenda about how do to powerpoint. There might be business people there AND there might be teachers, scientists, students, fathers of the bride, people going back into education and work, retired people who want to talk to groups about bees! It’s usually very mixed.

No. I'm not a therapist and I won't ask about your childhood or your past. I’m trained in groupwork and I've learnt from clinical psychology research and translated it into the everyday training room, as a new set of skills and reframes for public speaking confidence. You will be learning effective new skills for the future to be a more confident public speaker and how to get out of your own way when you are speaking.

Nothing on the course is compulsory, you don’t have to do anything. The course is created for anxious people so its gentle and informal. You are always invited to do exercises so it’s in your control what you do. And there are exercises on the course you can join in with. Remember that everyone who is coming doesn’t like public speaking either, they probably don’t like being the centre of attention and many people will have the impostor syndrome too. Because everyone is in the same boat it becomes a very supportive place, very quickly.

Everyone who comes is anxious about coming. That’s why I’ve designed the course that’s full of tiny steps so anxious peole can learn new skills. I’ve been working with anxious people for 26 years and I know that it’s not easy for people to come. But I also know that it’s not easy to live with anxiety day to day so helping people re-think their relationship to anxiety is a key part to the course.
Nothing on the course is compulsory, everyone who comes is anxious and yet lots and lots of the testimonials talk about how safe people felt. That’s my job to welcome you and your anxiety and help you see differently.

It’s a very simple one and this matters to me.
Your money returned if you don't think you have benefited from the course in any way.

To get the money returned the following two simple conditions apply:

1. you have to attend the course and be willing to learn over the two days. You can’t claim if you haven’t done the course. I try to be available to anyone who is finding the course tricky in any way. I’ve chatted and coached many people after the course on the first day. On every course I let people know that I am there to serve you over the two days of the course in anyway I can.

   2. you e-mail me explaining why you are disappointed and how it didn't work for you. That way I can learn more and get better at what I do.

You can come on my course over the two days and if it doesn’t work for you, you simply get your course fee returned.
I’ve returned under 10 people’s monies out of 8500 people. I don’t argue because it’s a no quibble guarantee

It’s in-person, it’s a two day course, it’s real.
We need to change what being the centre of attention means, we need to understand audiences very differently and we need to move away from the idea of performance to a conversation apporach.
You really need an audience in real life to change how you see them and to realise the reality is very different from the audience we carry around in our heads. In person is great also for realising that it’s not just you who feels like you do. And all of this is very very normal. We are humans with a wonky brain and we need to learn new skills and we can do that far more effectively in a group. As a trainer it gives far more of idea about how to help every individual coming. I love the effectiveness of group learning.