10 core practices of a life-affirming speaker - 3

A Life-affirming speaker...

3. Practices being present and being comfortable in silence. When we are able to be in the moment, rather than worrying about the future or the past  then clarity and insight can come. This focus on being present is at the core of our approach. When we can allow ourselves to be here in this moment, being available to one person at time, then we move away from seeing speaking as performing or delivering to one of just  being. We can become comfortable in silence, comfortable having the space to think, to listen even.

People often talk about having a "blank mind" when they start public speaking. They are not talking about a calm mind - thought free mind. They are usually in panic. We really over-think public speaking. We actually get over-whelmed by our thinking. Imagine the next paragraph as the thinking process going on when we speak. And it happens in a rush and it feels like almost one thought. As well as speaking we might be thinking these thoughts almost all at the same time (Big Breath)
"Can I remember the beginning of this speech? Am I boring? What's my next line? Am I wearing the right clothes/shoes? Are my flies undone? What happens if someone asks me a question I can't answer? What happens if they don't like me? Can they see I'm nervous? Am I going red? Help, what's the name of my boss?, Can I get out of here quickly? what will happen if I faint now? " etc etc etc

That's too much going on for us. No wonder it feels grim. So we need to able to move into a quieter mind. To be able to just be there rather than work so hard. If we can be quiet and allow ourselves just be in the moment. That's presence - that's at the core of what we need to be comfortable as a speaker. And comfortable for the audience too. If you are able to be in the moment then the audience will be able to relax. 

Pauses allow us space to think and for the audience to take in what you have said. Can we get an ease in being ourselves in front of people? Can we take our place in the world with more ease?

I'm not saying you can just switch a switch and suddenly you can get be fully present in front of a group. That takes some work. And its where we need to get the skills and to keep on practicing them. A speaking circle group gives us an effective way to these skills. And that's why I teach this approach which concentrates on presence first.

What's your experience of being present? Can you allow yourself just to be right here? What gets in the way for you?